24: Battle Of The Teachers
by Dawn Mabel
Summary: Basically, Jack has quit CTU and is having crazy encounters with the teachers. Many things happen, and hopefully it will be hilarious. the S.W.A.T. team is involved R & R! Oh yeah, and don't expect the characters to act like themselves!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, the moment my dad started joking around about 24, I knew I had to do this fanfic. This is pretty much just a totally silly version of 24. It takes place AFTER season 1, (so Terry's dead) and basically, the before-story info is: Jack Bauer has quit CTU and is now trying to be a normal dad. Yeah, not working out so well. Anyway, see the insanity yourself in… *drum roll* 24: Battle Of The Teachers**

**Time: 5:00 P.M.**

**Place: Kim's Classroom**

"Mr. Bauer," said Ms. Allentosha, Kim's teacher. "why have you called this meeting with me?"

"Because," said Jack menacingly. "I want to know why my daughter got a B on her test!"

"Well, she didn't answer all of the questions correc-"

"TELL ME WHY!"

"Beca-"

"If you don't tell me this instant, I will be forced to make your first name, Sally, public!"

"But, Mr. Bauer, I-"

"I see you're not talking. Well, time for drastic measures. See this?" said Jack, holding up one of the school's pencils.

"Yes."

"If you do not talk, I will be forced to destroy this pencil!"

"Mr. Bauer, I have been trying to explain to you, that-"

"I didn't want to have to do this, but I must." Jack took the pencil in between his hands, and snapped it in half.

"Mr. Bauer, I must ask you to leave this instant!" Ms. Allentosha sounded angry.

"Fine. But I _will _be back!" With that final quote from _Terminator_, Jack walked out the door, and headed for his car. Ms. Allentosha shook her head.

"That man is crazy." she concluded.

**Time: 6:30 P.M. (same day)**

**Place: Kim's Classroom**

As Ms. Allentosha sat at her desk, she heard a knock on her classroom door. "Come in!" she said.

The door was kicked open, and she saw men in suits walking in, with the letters, S.W.A.T. on their chests.

"What the…? The S.W.A.T. team? Why are they here?" she asked out loud, feeling faint. Behind the S.W.A.T. team, was none other then Jack Bauer.

"Jack! I should've known this was your doing!" Ms. Allentosha screamed.

"I had to do, what I had to do." replied Jack. "I will do anything to protect my daughter's grades."

"Search the room!" said one of the S.W.A.T. team members, motioning to the others.

Ms. Allentosha was shaking with anger. "Jack Bauer!" she screamed. "You will pay!"

**And that's all the craziness for now! But there will be more soon, I promise! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Ready for more 24 craziness? Oh, and thank you skycloud86 for being the first reviewer! =D Here, take this! *hands skycloud86 a cookie pizza* (a cookie pizza is a pizza, but instead of normal crust, it's a giant cookie! And then you can put a whole lot of toppings on it, like marshmallows, or frosting, etc.) Anyway, on with the show!**

**Time: 2:30**

**Place: 3****rd**** Graders Classroom**

It was Math time in the 3rd Graders classroom, and the 3rd Grade teacher, Ms. Malasia, was writing a problem on the chalkboard. One of the students by the name of Annie raised her hand.

"Yes Annie?" said Ms. Malasia.

"Who is that man sitting at the back of the classroom?" Annie asked innocently.

"Oh, that is Mr. Bauer." answered Ms. Malasia.

"Why is Mr. Bauer here?"

"Oh, I believe he is observing our activities. But if you want, you may ask him."

Annie turned around, and faced Jack. "Mr. Bauer, why are you here?" Annie asked.

"I am here because I am making sure you aren't doing anything bad here. And I was kicked out of Ms. Allentosha's classroom." Jack said.

"Oh." Annie turned back around.

**Time: 4:20**

**Place: 5****th**** Grade Classroom**

Mr. Seltay was sitting at his desk, looking over his papers, when he heard a knock on his classroom door. "Come in!" he said. The door opened, and Jack walked in.

"Jack Bauer, what a pleasant surprise!" said Mr. Seltay.

"Tell me where you're hiding the Drazens." Jack said seriously.

"Who?"

"Don't play games with me. Where are they?"

"I, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I'm going to ask you one last time. Where are the Drazens?"

"Um, they're in the Janitor's closet!" said Mr. Seltay nervously, thinking fast.

"The Janitor's closet, eh? Veeery clever!" With that, Jack walked out of the classroom, and to the Janitor's closet.

_Whew, that was a close one! _Mr. Seltay thought. The classroom door opened again, and Mr. Seltay blinked in surprise. It was Jack Bauer, and he was dragging along with him, a man.

"Thank you for the help." Jack said to Mr. Seltay. "I found Alexis Drazen in the Janitor's closet, just like you said." Jack walked out of the classroom again, dragging Alexis with him.

"That has to be the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me." Mr. Seltay said to himself.

**Did you like it? Oh, and please Review! And remember, if you have any ideas for the story, just put it in a review and I will most likely use it. Thanks!**


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